When Ruins Sing...

Where my faith and creativity collide! A freedom freelancer, prayerful painter and clarion for Christ.

Awkward is the New Awesome ( I added a little shout out to Glennon Doyle Melton:)

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Do you feel like the word AWKWARD has new found fame?

Does your teenager tend to say it multiple times a day:

about themselves

about the “ratchet situation” (another awkward new adjective interjected)

about others

especially about YOU!

I don’t remember using that word so much when I was a teenager.  However, I do remember feeling that way quite often.

Ok, let’s be perfectly honest.  I remember feeling that way yesterday and probably 5 minutes ago.

The older/wiser me now realizes how incredibly awkward everyone is and that maybe, just maybe, that is the way it was always suppose to be.

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As I do inventory on the past 45 years, I know this to be true:

My life is an anthology of awkward adventures.

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And I think, NO, I know that:

AWKWARD IS MOST DEFINITELY THE NEW AWESOME!

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I have decided that I would rather go AWKWARD ALL IN than be the AWKWARD BENCHWARMER!  I spent much of my life wanting to be on the sidelines.  It felt safer with much less risk.

BUT THINGS HAVE CHANGED – I HAVE CHANGED!

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I am about to share some of my signature “moves,” and I pray it inspires you to “look BACK on” and “look NOW on” your life with a LIGHTER LENS.

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Welcome to my “awkward” world:

I hold my sandwiches upside-down, meaning I flip the whole darn thing and come at my mouth from an odd and uncomfortable angle.  “Why?” you might ask.  I have not idea!

I put vicks vapor rub pretty much all over my face before bed every night-YES-every night, simply because it smells good.

I add and extra “r” to the word “breakfast”-making it “breakfrest” -This is much harder to say and it is just wrong.

(As for words that I mess up, I could dedicate an entire blog post to that.  I will save that masterpiece for another day.  Everyone needs a cliffhanger!)

I wear a night guard in my mouth while sleeping. Occasionally I find it has escaped and is floating in the bed or I find my dog has it as a chew toy.  You would think that I would throw it away but I do not.

I recently was told by several people that I walk everywhere with my head, ever so slightly, tilted to the left. When I run the tilt is much more pronounced.  No wonder my neck hurts.

I have a tendency to pick up the nervous ticks or speaking habits of just about anyone I spend quality time with.  If you don’t think you have any ticks or speaking habits, just spend a week with me and you will know exactly how “awkward” you are by watching me!

**By ticks or speaking habits I mean such things as :

 lip biting

overuse of “literally or legit”

A random mouth pucker every now and again

clearing my throat

using nicknames for people I don’t even know (just because you did)

drinking diet coke, unsweet tea, or a new coffee flavor just because I am with a particular person and it’s their thang

swaying, as if there is a baby on my hip,

and  “sympathy pain,” if your back, knee, head, or finger hurts, I might just be rubbing mine before the day is over

-OK-back to purely me and my “awkward” self-

-When I tell a story, I often talk really fast because I am afraid the listener will get bored and tune me out before I get to the good part.

-I mostly just eat snacks-not meals. (Ask the Youth Pastor who lives with us and I guarantee you that he thinks my eating habits are freakish!)

-I go to the bathroom at least 3 times a night and I have since I was a little girl.  Don’t try and diagnose me on this one.  I just go to the bathroom a lot and it really is OK:)

-I hug people who have not invited me into their box of space.  You would think that I would let go when they didn’t hug me back but I seem to hold on tighter, as if that will make them return the snuggly embrace.

-My plastic storage containers in the kitchen cabinet will all fall out when you open the door and most of the time the lids won’t match up.  I’m not exactly sure why we even have them because I do not cook for there to be left overs.

I do not fold anything in my pj, bathing suit, underwear, or exercise drawers.  I have no explanation.

-Bad breath(really any bad smell) makes me want to punch someone.   Something in me snaps. I have prayed for God to remove my sense of smell before, in order to remove the “smell rage.”

-I don’t dance.  I used to dance.  I am not really sure why.  I have a friend who recently told me:  “I believe the Holy Spirit wants you to dance again.”  I had to ask her if that was literally or figuratively.  She did not know.  Hmmmm…..  But I really like this song: “I Don’t Dance” by Lee Brice

(My mind kind of thinks like the book “If you give a mouse a cookie…”, hence the random jump arounds:)

-Almost done: Back to AWKWARD ME-

-Walking in front of bleachers at any sporting event is just about enough to bury me.  TALK ABOUT AWKWARD! Sometimes I pretend I am invisible (I really do!) and ALL THE TIME I envision Jesus on my right arm walking in with me. I don’t say that to sound super spiritual.  I really do picture Jesus walking in with me and HE is always proud to be my escort.

(**Just another little Jesus Joy Ride I decided to insert:  I also picture HIM running with me and HE is always running backwards facing me and talking to me and HE never breaks a sweat.  And when I am sitting in church, I often picture HIM sitting beside me in corduroys and wallabies and sometimes when my hands are raised in worship, I picture HIM holding my fingertips from Heaven, elbowing HIS FATHER, saying, “Look at this one!”)

Remembering I have a right hand MAN(That Jesus) that will never leave me or forsake me, and who thinks I am precious and funny and pretty and smart and creative and a blast to be with, is my CENTER, when I am overwhelmed by the awkward moments or my awkward self.

Below is a few “awkward pictures”of me.  I pray this inspires you to look back on your own life with a LIGHTER LENS AND LAUGH!  God is laughing WITH you, not AT you!  And since GOD doesn’t laugh AT us, then to heck with anyone who does:)

HE was with us “back in the day” and HE is going with us into the “there will come a day when…

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” (Rev. 21:4)

DISCLAIMER: I apologize in advance if this walk down memory lane makes you wet your pants!  Most of these photos are from my awesome Alma-mater – Hutchison, where I have some of the most amazing AWKWARD AND AWESOME memories!! SISTERS FOR LIFE!

**These photos are SUPER-SIZED so that you can get the full effect of my

AWKWARD AWESOMENESS!

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Why do I look like George Washington? And why oh why am I smiling!

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I have on a sailor dress and I have a cold sore under my nose; however, you may not have noticed since I remember my mom dabbing her cream foundation on it to cover the yucky little devil up.

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Well now, I have a flower on my dress.

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Braces, braids and a horse! Hot diggity dog that was a good camp day!

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Everyone needs a picture of themselves dressed up as a mouse. It would be a shame for the whole wide blog world not to see this awesomeness!

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Posing at the beach looking like Leif Garrett.

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*Leif Garrett, for anyone who is unfamiliar with this late 70’s musical phenom.  I would equate him with the awesome artistry of Shaun Cassidy

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-Sorry I digress-Back to AWKWARD me-

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Mullets, tanning beds, and sun-in OH MY!

This is most definitely not the most serious or super spiritual of blog posts but it was an absolute blast to write.  God is all up in this post and it is not a stretch for me to see HIM right smack dab (what in the world does smack dab even mean) in the middle of it!  People often ask me,”Don’t you think you are just looking for a God Moment?”

The answer to that question is, without a doubt, YES!

God promised me, and you, that if we look for HIM, we will find HIM if we look for HIM with all our hearts!

So I have committed my life to LOOKING FOR HIM WITH ALL MY HEART!

It is salve to my soul to look back on my life, laugh out loud, cry a little, or a lot, but all the while looking for God moments in my messy past; because you know what?

Looking back through the eyes of Christ always gives me a

LIGHTER LENS!

Embrace your AWKWARD SELF.

WE CAN ALWAYS USE A HUG!

For your entertainment

a musical snack:)

To God Be All The Glory from my AWKWARD AND AWESOME LIFE!

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***I added a Glennon Doyle Melton Tag.  In reading her book “Carry On, Warrior” she helped me release and embrace my “awesome awkwardness!” Eternally grateful! I am getting closer “to dancing” again:) http://momastery.com (Glennon’s website:)

About Katie Wilson

Where my faith and creativity collide! A freedom freelancer, prayerful painter and clarion for Christ. #amwriting #Compel Forgiven and Free Living a life that says: COME AND SEE!

One Reply

  1. Laughing out loud and rejoicing in awkward! The picture of the mouse is hysterical and I am glad to know I am not the only one who has that issue with tupperware and walking in front of bleachers! You are beautiful in your awkward and this makes me want to celebrate mine like Jesus does!

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