My Hero, My Sister (Excuse me, what did you just say?)

All I heard was Fletcher yelling from the couch.  He was yelling for his sister and he needed her help.  There was absolutely no response coming from the four corners of our home, or from the rest of the neighborhood for that matter.  And as I recall the tone, I am not sure I would have answered either.

I asked him, “What in the world do you need?” He responded, “I am writing a paper on what it means to be a hero and I need Virginia’s help.”

I said, “You absolutely do not need her help to write your paper.  Have you even tried to start?”

Fletcher’s response took me by surprise.  He said, “I am doing my paper about Virginia.  If she is my hero, I thought at least she would help me.”

“Excuse me, what did you just say? Did you just say that your hero is your sister?”

CALLING FOR A PAUSE AND CALLING ALL MOMMAS RIGHT NOW:

We have mastered the art of threatening to pull over, if they do not keep their hands to themselves.

We have separated, spanked, cried, yelled, negotiated, bribed, taken things, rewarded things, used time-outs, the naughty chair, hand written apology notes, “I am sorry” written 100 (or a million) times, etc… the list is endless and yet the touching, teasing, tripping, taunting, tackling etc… continues at a rapid rate with ever-increasing destructive creativity and volume!

How in the world could these angelic monsters bring each other to tears and scars and still look at us like they have no idea why we are so upset.  They are clueless as to why seeing our children “cage fight” would bring us to tears and when they chase us down in need of protection from their BROTHER OR SISTER, they seem to think they played no part in the dramatic chase scene, culminating in slamming doors, hair pulling and sometimes blood!

So back to my astonishment when Fletcher said his hero was his sister!  I could have sworn that he was just yelling at her in the “I am so mad at you voice”  but much to my surprise,  that voice can also be the “you are my hero voice.”  I will take that surprise any day!

This is the moment a momma is moved to tears.  We have spent countless hours beating  ourselves up thinking we have failed as parents, because our kids can’t stand one another and then out of no where, God kisses us with the sweetest shocker:  My sister is my hero!  I can’t quit saying it and I can’t quit thanking God for it!

We dream about our grown children spending holidays with us and going on vacation with us and then we are mowed over (literally) by toddlers, tweens and teens in head locks and choke holds.  Our sweet dreams of the future are flushed down the toilet with someone’s iPod, underwear or homework.

BUT “My sister is my hero” changes every thing.  Maybe I have taken those tussles a little too seriously.   I am finding out that siblings who fight WITH each other will also fight FOR each other, and they really do LOVE EACH OTHER!

The quote in the image above is by Lysa TerKeurst.  It is so true that, as parents,  we often focus on our weaknesses but Praying is something we can definitely do right!

In 2009 I was part of a small group of women who committed to pray for one another’s children.  I would type up Scripture prayers from a book my momma gave me when my kids were first born and we would literally fill our kids names in the blank and pray God’s word over them.  I pulled out the book and I went back to those old emails from 2009 and wept with joy over those precious words.  Those precious  words were not mine but Our Savior’s!  He has given us every word to pray over our babies and HE loves it when we plagiarize HIM and make HIS WORDS our everyday language!

Below I have included my take-aways from the chapter on sibling relationships.  I have also included the reference information for this treasured book for anyone who wants some GOLD to put on their reading stand!  I pray it blesses you the way it has blessed me!

“Praying the Scripture for your Children” by:Jodie Berndt.

Chapter 14–“Praying for Your Child’s Relationship with Siblings” p. 164-175

“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! (Psalm 133:1)

*****As my children grow and mature in their relationship with the Lord, HE will transform their self-centered squabbles into a genuine desire and ability to put the needs of others before their own.

*****Romans 15:13( This is so exciting–this is my life verse and it was literally the next line in this chapter–GO GOD) May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in HIM, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the HOLY SPIRIT.”

******Sibling conflict and rivalries are no match for a parent who knows–and regularly talks to–the GOD OF HOPE!

*****When you pray according to GOD’s promises, you can expect HIM to keep them!

*****God hears your prayers, and HE is always at work–even when you cannot see what HE is doing.

******If your children are not sparing yet or if they are in the middle of a full-blown war with each other, start now covering their relationship with prayer. Be proactive, using verses like the ones listed below to lift them before God’s throne, trusting that when conflicts crop up, GOD can take what Satan intends for evil and turn it to your children’s advantage.

“Give ______and his/her siblings endurance, encouragement and a spirit of unity as they follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth they may glorify YOU, precious Lord. “(Romans 15:5-6)

“Cause ______and his/her siblings to be devoted to one another in brotherly love, honoring one another above themselves.”(Romans 12:10)

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of ______’s mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”(Ephesians 2:29)

“I pray that ______will do everything without arguing or complaining.”(Phil 2:14)

“Let _____live in harmony with his/her sibling, being sympathetic, compassionate, and humble. Don’t let _____ and her siblings repay evil with evil or insult, but with blessing.”(1 Peter 3:8-9)

The remainder of this blog post is the actual essay my son wrote about his older sister.  I have not changed any of his words, for you need to hear the authentic overflow of his heart!  Prepare to smile, possibly shed a tear and hopefully be encouraged that your children who may fight WITH each other will also FIGHT for each other because they really do love each other!

TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY, AS HE CONTINUES TO WRITE MY CHILDREN’S STORIES!

My Sister My Hero by: Fletcher Wilson

A hero is someone who is brave, kind, trustworthy, and a leader. Those are the main traits that heroes need in my opinion. They are also respectful and positive. They must me honest and wise. My hero is all of the above. She puts other before herself and helps others every chance she gets. She is always there for me when I need her. She gives me advice, listens to me, and helps me when I need it. She is funny and I know I can count on her to always take up for me. I have known her my whole life. My hero is my sister.

Virginia has always protected me. We fight often but in the long run she is a pretty great sister. She always takes care of me. She will make me meals at my house and ask about my life to see how I am doing. We act like regular siblings but I know she really cares about me. She tries new things and is a great role model. In eighth grade she started on the varsity girls’ basketball team. She started snowboarding and became really good at it, tried surfing, and was enthusiastic to start driving a car as early as possible and drives whenever she can. She never gives up and is anxious to try new things. She does laundry, takes care of our dogs, gets all her work done on time, and provides for herself when she needs to. She is very responsible and never complains. She is very faithful in God and takes time every day for him. She always tries to include others. One time she sat with someone at lunch that was sitting alone. She helps me with my chores and when she makes a mistake she recognizes it and apologizes. Although her room is a mess and she gets grumpy sometimes, when she puts her mind to something, she will do it better than anyone.

GO GOD!!!!